The Not-So-Freedom Report

Good morning.

Way, way back into the mists if history, like a couple of weeks ago, I published a blog post about the Omar Khadr settlement.  At the end of it was a Bonus Round add-on portion concerning Your Fat Friend..,

Ta da!

...an author and genuinely good person on Twitter that is an absolutely phenomenal resource for coming to terms with your own weight and others, and how there's a real, living breathing person there and also how we should all treat each other with understanding.  A recent string of tweets concerning her, and many, many others' experiences at airlines has garnered a lot of publicity and was even mentioned on the Today Show on the 25th.  That's really sweet!  Couldn't have happened to a nicer person.  Please check her out at the Twitter @yrfatfriend.  You'll be glad you did.

Well, anyhow, something that was said on Your Fat Friend's Twitter feed as I was writing about Omar Khadr resonated with me.  The gist of it was that if you see someone getting discriminated against, made fun of, casually or otherwise, and you don't do anything about it, you're complacent.  That hit home with me, so I decided to do something about it.

So, on the evening of July 18th while I was in Calgary on business, I peered into the depths of...

...THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY...

Oh wow.  Remember way back when mice had coiled wires on them like that?

Ugh.

Does that ever make me feel old.

And but so I took to Google and started poking around for a good example good old fashioned internet trolling.  I tell you what, there was lots to choose from, unfortunately.  I came across the videos that...

Mr. Kevin J. Johnston

...had made made concerning now CBC Parliamentary reporter...

...Katie Simpson.

Perfect!  I had seen Katie on the news from time to time, but I had never even heard of Kevin J. before.  Around Mississauga, his "journalism" is...

...kind of a big deal..,

...but outside the Toronto area, not so much.  We have our own rabblerousers here out west.

Bill Whatcott, for example.

This guy.

But there was just something so intriguing about Kevin J. that made me decide that I wanted to write a blog about him.  And then I checked out the Freedom Report.  As I said previously..,

What a gold mine!  I mean, I was just interested in the Katie Simpson thing, but there was wall-to-wall material here.  I've always been of the opinion that the best tactic against bigotry, oppression, etc. is comedy.  Nothing skewers a dictator like a good joke.

For example.

So, I got to...

...researching and preparing an informed opinion on the subject.

As I worked on it, though, I had reservations.  If you've seen the Freedom Report, you'd know that this guy is a serious troll.  There's the chance that if I wrote something on him, he might see it, might get cheesed and turn his sights on me.  Wishful thinking, most likely, but there's the chance nevertheless.  Previously when I went after clowns like...

...Senator Boisvenu...

...I knew that it was more or less just for practicing my own creative writing.  It was likely no one would read or care.  But still, what if..?  Then I thought to myself, no.  I'm writing this to take a stand against a bully like I initially said I would and I prepared myself to repel all boarders and continue on.

I was ready to publish for Monday night when I had found out the news at home on Monday at noon hour.

Boom goes the dynamite.

WHAT IN TARNATION?!

They beat me to it!  I mean, I didn't realize or believe that he was going to be charged with anything, so it surprised the hell out of me!  It was then that it dawned on me...

PUBLISH!

PUBLISH NOW!

WE'LL CLEAN UP THE TYPOS THIS EVENING!

And so I did.

But then, the next morning...

...it went back through my mind that I was still surprised that Kevin J. was charged with anything at all.  I wasn't feeling, say...

...vindication.

I was just plain surprised.  But why?  As I went through the Freedom Report, I mused to myself that the whole site may actually just be satire.  It was over-the-top enough I was wondering for a moment if that was indeed the case.  There are many, many photo shopped Hitler mustaches that seemed God awful childish and almost too blunt to be serious.

I think he yellowed their teeth, too.  Not sure...

Almost, but not quite.  It dawned on my that there was too much sincerity in his approach.  Here's a life lesson.  Quote me on this.

Anyone that has to tell you that they are funny is not funny at all.  They have to tell you that they are funny so that they reassure themselves that you will not conclude that they are serious, which, of course, they are.

Is the site intended to be satire?

No.

Is the site intended to be entertainment?

No.

Is the site intended to be informational?

Yes.

The intent of the Freedom Report is not to be an echo chamber for nationalist, chauvinist thought.  Rather it is targeted towards people of a neutral opinion on the topics discussed.  His whole act is designed to shock the neutral viewer out of their neutrality and into a sympathetic stance.
 

Child molesters?!  Everyone hates child molesters!  And they're trying to stop him from reporting on this?!  Shame!

The viewer is intended to say, "That Kevin J. may be a jerk, but he's got a point" or "Why don't those CBC snobs just give this poor clown five minutes?"  By casting himself as an average slob whose way of life is under attack, he is able generate sympathy from other average slobs just need a little guidance to...

...transform shadows into wolves.

Therein lies the justification for the criminal charges.  It is this manipulation that's at the heart of it. Further, he does quite a lot of work railing against high schools, their school boards and even the students themselves.  That's a no-no.  No functioning society exists that wants its children to be used as tools in either the promotion of or as the object of hatred, and it is reasonable to ask Kevin J. to answer for his tactics.

However, there is a danger in this.  By compelling him to answer for his transgressions, you've now greatly increased the size of his soapbox.  Charging Kevin J. with a hate crime may make a free speech martyr out of someone who is already an experienced huckster attempting to squeeze sympathy from the dispassionate.  Why, the very same day, almost immediately after being released from custody, this popped up:

You just knew this was coming.

It's like he was just waiting for this day.  By arresting and charging him you've now amplified his message.  I didn't know he even existed two weeks ago, and I only learned because I was actively looking for an online jackass to write about.  But now his face is plastered on the national news machine for all to see.

 For my part, I think the Freedom Report is, to quote Rex Stout...

"A sad commentary on the pusillanimous nature of your dreams."

It's a cry for help from someone who feels that they're constantly under attack by society.  Against me, it's harmless.  However, for the sake of everyone hurt, bullied. or (worse) persuaded by this man, I seriously hope that the crown has their act together.  I hope for a conviction because anything less will only strengthen and broaden his ability to do damage.

As always, thank you very much for reading.  Until next time!

The Freedom to Report on the Freedom Report

Good afternoon.

We here at Raccoon Inc. pride ourselves on journalistic integrity.  No paid sources, no sleazy advertisements, No GoFundMe's, no lobbyists or special interest groups, no taxpayer funding, no pretentious Patreon account, no YouTube royalties.  Just the straight hard cheese here.  Facts?  You betcha!  So many facts it'll make you sick.  Why, if fact-based opinion were Nutella..,

...we got a tub of it!  A TUB!

And, let me tell you, the placement of that image on this blog here today most certainly was not paid for by the big breakfast conglomerate machine.  I'm not even sure that's Nutella.  It could just be, like regular chocolate.  Hopefully, anyway.

Oh, and warning.   Today's post will contain some nastiness.  If you wanna skip to the next post, please do.  I don't want any offensive material to blindside my totally rad awesome subscribers! Thank you for reading, everyone!  How many are we at now at the time of writing this?

Perfect!  Lots of room to grow and no serious fear of upsetting the loyal fans.  Best of both worlds!

Anyway!  Where were we?  Right!  On with the show!

FREEDOM REPORT . CA

Freedomreport.ca is a website.  It's, uh.  It's a, uh, thing.  It's a website and a thing.  Here, in its own words:

Straight from the website.

Beautiful...

They set the bar high, don't they? 

The Freedom Report is run by the intrepid reporter...

Kevin J. Johnston

Mr. Johnston, who could do a killer Dan Aykroyd impression, works by day as the advertising man, editor and writer for the Mississauga Gazette, which is a real publication so far as I can discern.  When not on the clock, however, Kevin J. Johnston ostensibly enjoys serving court papers and sparring with local politicians, lawyers, teenagers, reporters and more while on camera.  It's like a discount W5 where Kevin J. Johnston hunts down liberals instead of crooked moving companies and veterinarians.

So let's open it up and take a gander at it.  Let's see EXACTLY how the world works.

Exciting stuff!

Sweet.

Mmhmm.

GOOD, CLEAN WHITE VALUES

Oh, yeah!  They also have a radio station on the website.  REALITY RADIO 101!  It's pretty nifty!  Dude makes his own playlist.  The editorial board checked it out.

YES.  GOOD, CLEAN WHITE VALUES.  GIMME SOME OF THAT SWEET SWEET KOOL AND THE GANG.

CELEBRATING GOOD, CLEAN WHITE VALUES SUCH AS GETTING DOWN ON IT.

Yeah, man.  Norman Greenbaum.  Good stuff!

Oh, here's another good story!

*GASP*

Hey, that's not nice!  Kevin J. Johnston may have his own views on things and doesn't mind pointing out other's body size, but he does so because their weight is a matter of public interest..,

Let's not forget, Kevin J. Johnston is a journalist and the last great bastion of honesty and freedom in Canada!  It's not his weight that's an issue here, it's yours.

So, please.  Decorum.  He's the one asking the questions here, friendo.  It's not like he hits below the belt at all.  No, Kevin J. Johnston writes GOOD, CLEAN pieces like this one about CBC reporter Katie Simpson.

"Hardcore Feminist CBC Reporter Katie Simpson"

And this one about Katie Simpson.

"You'll notice that I'm wearing the same shirt.  I just changed into my jacket.  And why did I do that?  Because, well, the white sweater I was wearing is incredibly warm, but makes me look as fat as the individual that had called me."

"So we've got this bizarre woman that looks like a massive feminist to me - double-meaning on the 'massive'..."

And this one about Katie Simpson:

Here's Kevin J., fighting it all.

"You just saw Katie Simpson.  She says, 'This is Kevin, the racist guy,' and then runs-  Well, not runs.  She waddled away through that door."

"Katie Simpson is a radical feminist who regrettably works for the CBC in Ottawa. More than $50,000 of your hard earned money goes into feeding this individual half of the country’s sugar every year. This individual is repugnant not only physically, but also behaviourily."

By far she is one of the worst reporters I have ever met and I find myself shocked that this individual who has a face and bikini body for radio in dark rooms, plagues our television sets on a daily basis."

"Katie Simpson is a liar and a horrible human being.  Believe me when I say this, the term 'human being' in that sentence is being used very loosely."

"Please defund the CBC so that our hard-earned tax dollars can stop going into Mars bars for Katie’s lunch breaks!"

"Let me leave you with a question: if Kenny Simpson trips and lands on a child, and child dies will she be charged with manslaughter or murder? Please keep your children away from Katie Simpson lest you bury them in a matchbox!"

Glaring proofreading concerns aside, Mr. Editor, it's a little, well...

...inelegant.

Let me tell you, the CBC is not some omnipotent, unassailable megalith.  Oh boy, do they have their faults.

Exhibit A

There's the culture that enabled Jian Ghomeshi, their refusal to produce a sunshine list, occasional naked jingoism, occasional naked government propaganda...  I could go on all day.  If you have an axe to grind with the CBC, it's practically a turkey shoot.

The point is this: whatever the problems are at the CBC, they are not Katie Simpson. Katie’s a damn fine reporter that had to fight her way past ugly personal attacks like these to get up to where she's at now.  If you want to criticize her work, go bananas.  Please do.  But if you're just going to for the cheap, creepy personal attacks, please stop.  Nowhere in the first piece entitled "Hardcore Feminist Katie Simpson" is there any hint of any feminism, or indeed anything other than a simple, professional inquiry.  There's no hint anywhere here of any "Hardcore Feminism" beyond the fact that she's, you know...

...female.

Kind of looks like he took the alleged 40 min. break in between the two videos to Google her.  With some cursory information, he started on the offensive.  And suddenly:

Train wreck?!  As for his charges that she's an "idiot" and a "joke" and a "train wreck", well, let me put it to you like this.  Katie, a journalist, called Kevin J., asked a few questions and got a few answers.  Kevin J., a journalist, met Katie, asked a few questions and got nowhere.  I'm no J-School prof., but seems to me the efficacy of a good reported is based loosely on asking questions and getting answers.

Also, nowhere in any of these pieces did I ever see Kevin J. have the guts to call her fat directly.  It's all just behind-her-back snickering after the initial call and once she was behind security at the Conservative event.  In lieu of an actual CBC investigation, we get Googles, gotchas and fat jokes.

Hardy har har.

Sir, you're not helping.  You may think you're helping, but you're not.  Real people with real arguments have real concerns regarding the CBC, Mr. Kevin J. Johnston.

But hey, you have freedom of speech, like we all do, so no one can try to stop you from promoting GOOD, CLEAN WHITE VALUES.

Well, almost no one.

Except "social media terrorists".

And the Royal Canadian Legion.

And schools.

For some reason.

So, really, the man needs all the help he can get.

They killed his revenue stream!

 Fortunately, he's got a Patreon page!

That'll buy a few Mars bars.  But only a few.

Bad news: not looking so good.  Good news: we here at Raccoon Inc. are only $25 behind a verified Conservative pundit!  Oh, and here's his Patreon mission statement:

Oh, I get the "rough" part. It's the funny I'm still looking for.

Yes, general human issues.

Such as male insecurity w/r/t sexuality.

And male insecurity w/r/t fat shaming.

And male insecurity w/r/t job security.

And male insecurity w/r/t sexuality.

And specifically white male insecurity w/r/t demographics.

So, if you wallow in male insecurity, espouse GOOD, CLEAN WHITE VALUES, enjoy drawing Hitler mustaches on those who disagree with you, calling people fat behind their back and are tickled fuchsia to watch lacrosse enthusiasts get served papers, by cracky, Kevin J. Johnston is...

...right up your alley.

Now, all this is not to say that white guys don't deserve or shouldn't have a voice.  We should!  Sure!  Why not?  Everyone is entitled to a voice.  However, Kevin J. Johnston just make us all look like such...

Lastly, hey.  If this whole website/shtick thing is just a masterful parody of right-wing trolls and all of the school boards, Muslims, lawyers and Katie are all in on the act...

Bravo, Kevin J.  You've fooled me.

I don't think it is, though.  Seems too sincere.  No, parody takes imagination and...

Finn nails it.

I think it's just a straightforward cry for help masquerading as guerrilla journalism.

And that's all the time that we have here today.  Fingers crossed that this post doesn't get nuked by Blogger because Kevin J. Johnston is mentioned.  Until next time!

Update:  The office just received word that Kevin J. Johnston's been charged with a hate crime!  Best of luck, Kevin J.!  Don't quite know why or how yet, but we shall see.